“Tie me kangaroo down, sport…”

15 04 2010

Good morning!

I decided not to be a waste of life today and to actually wake up at a healthy time so as to accomplish something more legitimate than a blog post today. This marks day 3 in Melbourne, although the days have all sort of run together like some sort of sleepless dream. It must still be the jetlag, but my body & head aren’t getting 100% participation points yet, so pardon if this post is a bit nonsensical…

I’ve learned that an American accent is a very fortunate thing to have around these parts. Even after a simple “hello” or “hey how’s it going?” people automatically are intrigued. It really comes in handy when say, one is unable to open a door properly, or doesn’t know the protocol for which side of the sidewalk to walk on, or where to swipe a credit card when making a purchase. As soon as they hear the American accent, all is pardoned. I’ve had a lot of trouble just getting in and out of places, since my key really enjoys mind games. I think I’ve been rescued about 4 times already from an impassable locked door. I’m constantly asked a number of stereotypical questions about America, which can get old, but I guess I have to cut the little Aussies some slack since I’ve made my fair share of “a dingo ate my baby!” jokes and poked fun at koalas for being so damn sleepy all the time. Koalas, what silly silly animals.

G’day, mate! I look a lot cuter than I smell! love, Koala

The daily routine thus far is as follows– well, come to think of it there isn’t really a routine. I generally go say hello to Renae a couple times a day (she works in the main office), I wander around the closer streets surrounding Newman, & make friends in the computer lab of the library… It’s really time I should get on to sightseeing, huh? To be honest, it’s pretty lonely until about 6 o’clock when everyone gets off of work & we go to dinner. Last night Luke & I went over to Renae & Frith’s and had spaghetti. Now, Renae & Frith are gems, real gems. They were so welcoming and had made all these playlists to introduce me me to all kinds of fantastic Australian music & spent the evening generally inundating me with Aussie culture. They also agreed with me that the Hogwart’s dinner is pretentious & unnecessary. Luke wasn’t too happy about that. I was joking with Luke last night that there were just so many steps to the whole thing, that they could announce any sort of activity following the previous one, & it wouldn’t seem absurd. “All right everyone, it’s time to pluck the chickens.” And everyone solemnly nods & makes their way to the Hogwart’s chicken-plucking room. “Now we will tickle each other’s feet for twenty minutes” and so on and so forth. I mean that’s the level of ridiculousness we’re verging on here. I was glad Renae & Frith shared my sentiments about it all. They’re just super down to earth, & also hilariously funny. Frith was giving Luke a hard time about not drinking alcohol, & Renae said “well Luke, there’s red wine in the pasta sauce, I’m sorry” and Frith chimes in- “Oh yeah, Luke, and we put cocaine in the garlic bread…” I completely lost it.

After dinner Luke had to skype with some 80 year old psychiatrist (pretty casual, right?) for a couple hours so I took a walk around the block, finally got all my bath supplies from the local convenience store, & fumbled stupidly as the lights went out on me whilst I showered. They’re also all about conserving water like madmen around here, so I was rinsing myself in a quite slow, pathetic trickle of H20. Not the most relaxing shower of my life, but I suppose I didn’t fly to Australia to take phenomenal showers…

The weather has been cold cold cold and overcast everyday. I’m a bit disappointed that it’s been so crappy. The fact that it’s NOT WARM is probably contributing to my lack of motivation to sightsee by myself. Or maybe that’s my way of rationalizing my general lack of motivation. Regardless, I’ve got fingers crossed that it will get nicer, otherwise I’ll just have to hop into a kangaroo’s pouch and get toasty. And she may not like it, but really, she won’t have a choice in the matter. Plus once she hears my American accent, her protesting will be forced to cease. Speaking of the local fauna, it sounds like damn aliens are in the trees everywhere you go. The birds here make the most ridiculous & nonsensical noises; something between a bullfrog, a squirrel, & a drunk man in a gutter. These asshole birds, along with the nearby traffic, don’t make for the most restful early mornings.

This picture illustrates how much of a douchebag the magpie really is.

I’ve completely lost any concept of what time it is in the States, and am continually disappointed when I log onto g-chat and no one else is on. Like I said, it’s pretty lonely around these parts haha. (Grae pauses for a moment of self pity). Fortunately we’re going to the Melbourne comedy festival tonight which will be a welcome outing. We have tickets to go the next couple nights as well with some of Luke’s other friends. I’m excited to actually SEE the city & MEET other people. I just google image searched “recluse,” and BOY, WAS THAT A MISTAKE! Don’t do it. Really.


All right, I’m off to do something with the day, potentially lock myself in a college dorm, & if all goes well- find a kangaroo to wear as a makeshift sweater.




2 responses

15 04 2010

I think my productivity at work is going to severely decline over the next 7 weeks with this blog available. In fact I’m hiding in the bathroom now reading it so I can laugh without getting awkward looks. Nice moves, FL. Miss you!

28 04 2010

Oh my gosh I just read this at work and laughed at the cocaine joke again! That was a great night! Looking forward to more in the weeks to come.

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